Squirtle

[Masahiro Sakurai]

Squirtle will address the finalists here!

[Squirtle]

Squirtlefriend! Squirtlenofriend! Squirtleexfriend!

Squirtgratulations onbe makeget smashgamefinalthree! Isbebut bittersquritlesweeet squirtgratulations aswas didbe squirtleself muchmuch hopewant nobe squirtleself oneonly leftout squirtlesidelined fromof fourwayfriendsshipgroup bywhen getmake smashgamefinalthree....



Squirtle squirtlesee isbe allthree squirtlefinalthreefriends bewant besquirtlexpect squirtleself juryvote! Makebe squirlteself squirltesnicker squirtlesight squirtlesametime! Isbe thoughbut fairtrue asbe squirlteself muchtomuch squirtlestruggle makesquirtlesense ofto whatbe squirtlesay whobe squirtleself makevote.

Ifbewant squirtleself makevote foronof squirtlefriendships, isbe squirtlestruggle. Muchmostclosest fromof squirtlefriends wasbe captainexsquirtlefriend, wasbe mostmake deephurt squirtleself withof nonecessary squirlteexfriendstabbitystab! Squirlte squirltesting squirtlestill.

Squirtle neverbeexpect neverbebuy wasbe squirtlefriendship ofbetween squirtleself warioman afterwas meanmadwarioman makebully squirtleself inon oldyellowteam. Butbe wasmake squirlteslef squirtlesmile mostofall inend aswasbe notnever stabbitystab eitherway fordespite allof squirtlesilliness earlytimes allof squilrtesuspicions latertimes didbe warioman squirtlestaykeep honestyloyal inend!

Squirtlestrangedinofriend wasbe allsmashgame goodsquirtlefriend neverbebest sqirtlefriend notneverhighhigh notneverlowlow notneverchance fromby ownstrangedinofriend strangeeggstrategy forto everbe evenmakeconsider stabbitystab squirtleself. Make unsquirtain ifcangetgive fullamount squilrtlefriendshipcredit! Allbemake squilrtefrienshipsvote muchtomuch unsquirtain!



Ifbewant squirtleself makevote foronof smashgamegame isbe aswell muchtomuch messymess! Squirtle squilrtlesense fromof alljury squilrteself couldmay bebe bestmost closeposition fortobe squirtlesee allof smashgamefinalthree squilrtestrengths... andallof squirtleshortfals!

Captainfriend wasbe squirlteselfpartner forin squirtlestrategy mostsmashgame! Butyet Captainexfriend noknow howmuch verymuch closetoclose wasget forto leavegame inonfrom oldblueteam inwhenbe tietierocks! Wasbutbe justone squirtlesilly messymessmiscommunucation makebe tietierocks notbe byebyecaptain! Andin momentofwhen stabbitystab squirtleexfriendcaptain notyet washave manymuch wellwell inhindsight explanation forabout stabbitystab! Wasbe makeclaim allabout stayout fromof ringduels... whenwas onlybe fewmoment fromof voterevealtime wasbe squirtlespeakings fromofbetween allfromof warioman stragnedino falcoexfriend squirtleself allguarantee wouldbe threevote automatic onfor captainexfriend makesend ringduel inat finalfive! Squirtlestupidity makebe squirtlesad allmore!



Warioman wasbe squirtlestrategicforce allwhere alltime! Yetbut alltransparent! Allclear howmuchbe maketry makesquirtlescheme makefail makebackfire manymanyoptions allsmashgamelong. Wasbe squirltesickly atbe damagecontrol alltime makeresort meanbully eacheverytime nogetway, makebe manysmashers squirtlesad whenwas wariomanmadness makedirect fortoat squilrteself moremanymore othersmashers. Aswell wasbe warioman justone byaccidental selfvote awayfromof revolvingdoor onat oldyellowteam justforbe bullyman andget manytime squirtlespared fromof oldpinkteam sidetarget onlyascause wasbe squilrtkeseen notnever squirtleserious notruethreat forend. Squirtlesigh.

Squirlteself beknow strangedinofriend wasbe muchtomuch manymoreinto sqirtlestrategies ofin smashgamemerge! Wasbe fullpart inon makedecide whatdo wherevote andbe maincaller formakeassign votesplit manytime! Makefullsquirtain wouldget strangedinofriendfriends attacksandbag whenwas inringduel beknow alwaysexact whichof stageselect couldbe makeace! Yetbut nevermake nosign formanymost othersmashers wasbe atall squirtlesavekeep anyagency overfrom strangeeggstrategy dayone! Strangedinostrategy wasbe makeshow onlyforto fewfromof squirtlefriendfriends whenwas beknow wasbe votetarget alltime whenwas beknow alltime wouldbe allmany othersmashers makejury! Planmake goend withbetween captainexfriend falcoexfriend winfrom splitvote dobe couldmay bebetrue witharound finalfourtime perceptions butbe leaveout chancemake newperception ifbe strangedinofriend makevoteout bigthreat makegetearn ownrespect!

Squritlesoooooooooo squirtlestrategy makebe squirtleself squirtlesmashing onwsquirtlehead! Ofinisde squirtleself squirlteshell ofcourse allgentlegentle! Soasbe nomakehurt squilrteselfchance forat makeevolvewartortle oneday squirtlesoon!



Meanmake isbenow onewayonly makedecide squirtleselfjuryvote... squirtlefriend squirltlenofriend squirtleexfriend dobenow squirltespeaksay hiiiiiiiiiiiii forto alllfull squirtlesquad!



Whenbe squirtleself makegetaceept joinin smashgame wasbe squirltelself needmake squirtleswear whengetmake returnto squirtlesquad willbe havegive bestbestbestestever squirtlestory ofabout alltime inof smashgame!

Wasbe squilrtelself hopedream wouldbe squirltestory allofabout squirtleself... butisbe nottobe. Squirtle beknow iswasbeen wholenother twentyone smashgamestories alltime allsmashgamelong. Allwant allready gogethome fortofind ownsquirtlesquad maketell ownsquirtlestory bestsquirtlestory winningsquirtlestory!

Nowbe squirtleself needknow: ifwhenbe squirtleself maketell smashgamestory forto squirtlesquad. Whybe squirtledinofriendstory beststory bestending forallsmashgamestory? Whybe squirtleexfriendcaptainstory beststory bestending forallsmashgamestory? Whybe squirtlenofriendwariomanstory beststory bestending forallsmashgamestory?

Whybe othersmashers fromonjury makebe squirtleselvessmile whenbe gogethome makebetell smashgamestory notasbeen eachsmasherownselfstory butinstead smashgamewinnerstory? Squilrtleself squirtleswear willbe makegive ownsquilrteself juryvote forto beststory formake squirtlesquad backhome needclap needcheer needcelebrate needsquirtlesqueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee evenatwhen isnotbe smashgamewinnerstory squirtleselfstory. Mustneed bemake squirtleself squirltesqueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee forabout smashgamewinnerstory evenwhenbefrom squirtleseidlines.

Sqirtlespoken.

[Wario]

I trashed your name after you voted me in on yellow, and I admitted that to you during the game. The other time I got upset was where I tried to get Robin and Falco to vote with me to get both Dark Pit and Kazuya in together. Apart from those two votes, I don't really recall any other times where I went off and you had to do damage control for me. Please tell me otherwise.

As for us Squirtle, I did have your back. I wanted you for as long as possible. That's why I gave you the heads up about Captain Falcon, but you didn't believe me. And I hadn't done anything to you in the merge to make me distrust you at that point, so that was pretty frustrating.

For who has the best story? I obviously think it's me. I don't want to drone on and on here so I'll give you a (kind of) short summary that you could talk about at home.

I took charge immediately and coordinated four close allies onto green, as well as two more that I wanted to work with. I created all the group chats involving everyone and making them feel safe and included. I volunteered to go into the ring to keep my alliance together as part of a bigger plan, which worked. It kept everyone together going into the swap. Yellow tribe I could've been an easy immediate target, but I was able to fan the flames of the red menace story to get Donkey Kong out. I made mistakes and got blindsided. I rebuilt relationships and came back, forcing a tie if not for Yoshi self voting. I rebuilt more relationships following that and rode into the merge. At the merge I had options, but immediately the status quo benefitted me for the first vote. Following that greens were targeted, and my game changed dramatically. I made the decision to not go with green for the interest of my future safety, and stuck with you on the yellow side. I stuck with my yellow allies through the entire merge, getting two shields which were definitely needed at the times that I got them. One at the vote I just mentioned, and the following one. So nothing could get turned on me and everything could calm down. I then made sure I was just seen as a number and not dangerous at all. I lowered my perceived threat level so that no matter what happened, I'd be fine. After Captain Falcon turned on you, I turned on him and sent him in. Justice? Yeah. Also self serving? Also yeah. That final 5 vote was where I had all the power, and I sent in two players myself. It was a mistake to make it so publicly obvious that I had that power, as sticking my head up cost me the vote at final 4. Yoshi didn't side with me, he went with Captain Falcon and so I was sent in. I smashed the challenges though against the odds and took out Falco in an upset. And here I am, sitting at the final 3 proudly.

I recognized your game Squirtle. You were playing fantastically. You unfortunately just became too big of a threat for the other players and they took you out.

[Yoshi]

From an outside perspective, Yoshi would like to think that Yoshi had the most interesting story. Yoshi went into this game with what can only be called an experiment, went directly to the Ring, a position many didn't see as at all feasible and managed to get to the end after winning 5 duels!

Gameplay aside, Yoshi thinks that Yoshi's story in itself paints the Yoshi's game. If you were given the information available at the start of the game, you would not have predicted that Yoshi would end up where they did and Yoshi thinks that one fact is what makes Yoshi story the most interesting. There was lots of drama here and there involving everyone and that has been explained already, but Yoshi does think it is that that makes Yoshi's story.

Yoshi doesn't need to try and convince Squirtle of our friendship, Yoshi was already sure of how we were and Yoshi expects Squirtle knows that from what Yoshi has read. In all honestly, Yoshi thinks Squirtle should've won this game and Yoshi is sad that it didn't eventuate like that.

[Captain Falcon]

BLUEY!!!

...Alright… I’m not gonna act like I'd deserve having ya run up into my arms ever again. I've missed you though, no denying that, just wasn't the same without my partner in crime. And THE BLUE FALCON has been filthy for a week… tried to clean her myself, but my hose is nothing compared to Bluey’s hydro pump. DAMN! It’s me own fault. Now before I get to ya main question, I just wanna address some of the other points ya made, they're all fair, and ya can take or leave what I say here.

With ya jury vote, believe me it’s not something I’m banking on. That’s a tough question to answer, for any of the jurors. I don’t expect with certainty anyone’s vote here, and I’m not counting anyone out as a vote for ol’ Cap neither, trust I'd love to be (and probably am relying on being) proven wrong with my non-Cap guesses there. I guess my picking you as a vote for THE CAPTAIN is more of a longing hope rather than any expectation. I know for you to vote for me would be to ask ya to put aside the brutal way I sent you out, and that’s a big ask.

As for my game faults- well, yep, I know I was in boilin’ hot water back on BLUE and that whole voting period was a shambles. I did use my two top bids then, after all- I was ready to take the hit. You and I never really went into much detail over what happened with that and the rounds after, maybe we both knew it’d be best not to. But once we struck GOLD, was all water under the bridge and Cap n’ Bluey really hit their stride. I don’t see the rocks moment itself as a big plus for my game, but more how I managed to recover afterwards, I suppose. I knew it was a second lease on life and I wasn’t gonna waste it.

And as fer taking you out- yep, guess it made certain a F5 duel which would’ve otherwise been up in the air. I admit I miscalculated what ya plans were for THE CAPTAIN- but from where my head was at in the moment, either way I’d end up duelling, and fancied my chances more if you weren’t in the mix with ya SHIELD’s on- against Yosh or Wario in THE RING, and even if I survived it, you’d be freakin’ tough in the end. I didn’t keep the faith in Cap n’ Bluey- and I’m sorry about that, Squirt. I thought you’d end up out thinking me, and in the end maybe I ended up out thinking myself cos of that. But I did make it through that duel, and I did worm my way into this spot- I may have made it harder for myself to get here, but I did get here... just without my buddy. Squirt, you were with me the whole way- I know I had some blunders, won't claim to have had a flawless game here. But you know how I operate n’ how I played- and so I hope you remember the good parts as well.

But, anyways, none of that was ya question, that was just ol’ Cap vomiting his thoughts. So let’s just say it’s all moot. I’m a HEARTLESS BASTARD and don’t deserve ya vote on friendship. I’m a BRAINDEAD HIMBO and don’t deserve ya vote on gameplay. Neither of those attributes matter right now- it’s about the STORY of CAPTAIN FALCON and how my win would get the Squirt Squad squealin' and gigglin' like school kids. So here we go!



It's DAY ONE and THE CAPTAIN waltzes into the game like it's a bar in downtown MUTE CITY! First to sign the welcome thread, first to pick my team- BLUE of course. I was big, I was bold, I was strutting around like I owned the place! The Squirtle Squad loved me... loved to HATE me! "Booo", they holler!

Then on BLUE… WOWZA! It was gonna get even worse! Out of the loop-de-loop, ol' Cap just about spun out in THE BLUE FALCON... it was a disaster! Took a rock, and a cross word to save me life! But what's that? The Squirtle Squad are cheering when I'm saved! They saw my fight, saw my grit- THE CAPTAIN was down, but bless his cotton socks, he ain't out. And when you and I shared our emotions and came together... "Cap n' Bluey! Cap n' Bluey!" they chant, they're lovin' it!

But then, we struck GOLD. I was learning my lessons- and I was damn sure I wasn’t gonna make the same mistakes that was made on BLUE HELL. You see that? GROWTH! Pulled the opposite of week one, and we went from the tribe getting 0 duellers, to the tribe getting every dueller. How's that for a story? THE CAPTAIN was included in all the groups this time- making new friends, and working it wherever he could. He'd clearly smartened up, and with Bluey by his side of course. "Awww!" the Squirtle Squad fawn, after we celebrate our second week in the game. "Hahaha!" they laugh, as THE CAPTAIN rips his pants that one time (that footage was doctored!)

Then MERGE! The real test- and THE CAPTAIN was ready for it. It's here that everything that was gained over the first 2 weeks would be put to the test- and I passed! Time to get wining n' dining, charmin', grindin', workin', a little bit of twerkin' for those that asked. Slipping through cracks, wriggling through tight spots- Squirtle Squad gasps when Bluey gets sent in... they cheer when he makes his triumphant return! They gasp when I'm stuck in the F7 tie... they roar when I'm saved!

But this is where I just about lose the Squirtle Squad for good- THE CAPTAIN looked to his side and saw you, Bluey. That's who the Squirtle Squad, and hey, maybe the whole game, is gonna be cheering for loudest. And that's who I needed to trust to take me with him- and in the end, I didn't. So with screams n' boos n' sobs from the Squad- THE CAPTAIN sends Bluey out. But it ain't over- just like that, THE RING. And just like that- FALCON PUNCH! And just like that, one final swerve n' curve through one last tricky vote, and now I'm sitting here in the end.

So that’s the story of CAPTAIN FALCON- came in hot n' cocky, and was quickly humbled with an explosive vote that almost send me out on my ass. But I learnt my lesson, changed my approach, and went from strength to strength. And eventually- I was a legitimate force in my own right. From almost discarded in round 3, to the last one voted out, all the way in round 17. Got up with a fire in my belly, every day. Never said die. Made the most of every opportunity I got here, fought n' scrapped my way to the end- I think that's a great story for the Squad. But, I turned on their boy Bluey! How can they forgive that? Well, maybe they won't forgive it. But maybe they might think that, hey, THE CAPTAIN just wanted to win a silly game. THE CAPTAIN just wanted to cross that finish line first, and he thought Bluey was in the way. He didn't stop and think how Bluey would feel to do that after all they went through, he just thought about how he'd feel if he managed to actually win this thing. And so he just- he did something brutal he wasn't sure he'd be able to do at first, just in the hopes of giving himself a better shot. But they know that when THE CAPTAIN looks back on this game, most of his favourite memories of it are gonna involve Bluey.

So THE CAPTAIN's story, is it a happy ending for them? Maybe not- but it had the most ups and downs, the most explosive moments, the most fun. And the ending... it made them mad, it made them sad, but it made them think. It's a story about DRIVE... it's a story about overcoming setbacks, my will to win, and about what I'd to do win. But THE CAPTAIN's story ain't complete without the story of Cap n' Bluey. I know that much is true, and so does the Squad. So me winning, yeah it's the ending I'm hoping for, and I think it'd be a sweet one... but I'll leave that with the jury, and with the Squad, to write the final chapter, and hope you agree, and hope you can forgive.

But whatever happens, love ya, Squirt. Thanks for being my buddy.