Kazuya

[Masahiro Sakurai]

Kazuya will address the finalists here!

[Kazuya]

I exercise my right as a Demonic CEO to deliver scathing exit interviews forthwith! Directed abuse at the top, nonsense question at the bottom! >:)


Yoshi , I feel like you tainted the game with your egg-strategy. Making yourself a pawn based on randomness is a cheap ploy to be 'useful' and unfortunately you could not be ignored or compartmentalised, so the game we signed up to play became 'that + Yoshi's hustle'. You could've played the game we're playing but instead... For anyone like me who you either ignored or wouldn't consider legitimately dealing with because 'no egg shrug', I hardly consider you a player at all. While your manner was benignly pleasant, your content was ever disappointing. By your own words in your Final Destination speech "Too many of Yoshi's acquaintances at that point were only with Yoshi because of their eggs". By your words to me, where you said multiple times 'perhaps Yoshi can finally start playing the game' right up until the very end you acknowledge your lack of involvement in the crucial dealings that underpin the fundamentals of this entire experience. It was a gamesmanship strategy and I give you no credit. Others may, but I suspect anyone who had an egg or wishes they had had one and votes for you cannot see past their own potential benefit. You claim elsewhere that this strategy was a novelty and to do it again would wear thin. Well, it wore thin long ago and at this juncture is a rotting egg of your own making. We came here to battle wits and challenges, not adhere to your ovoid farts and 'novelty'. By my red eye, your reliance upon this mechanism speaks to your lack of faith in your ability to form bonds, make alliances based off of sound strategy, and myriad other factors that I personally value within this context. Each time the game began to revolve around your eggs it felt lessened, thus it will take a monumental effort on your part to justify me giving you a vote. As for your egg punishment, I singe your soul with a deathless, blood-red, Eye-Leighzour! And a Lightning Screw Godfist for good measure!



Wario , reading your statement was like reading an alternate history fan-fic. Mostly incorrect and (egg) scrambled. Your retelling of events as you saw them smacks of not knowing the reality, acting upon imagined information multiple times when you had the truth spoonfed to you and simply spat it up undigested. Being the one who told you those truths, many times, and then you coming back to me wild-eyed and accusing of betrayal and subterfuge, by the time you and I parted ways it felt very much like herding rabid cats but I stuck with you right through until you imploded because, I'm a demon of my word. I told you everything about my failed Smashball search, and Pit and I pretty much did just shoot the shit in the stands while puzzling over the clues. You also came at me accusing me of accusing you of taking the smashball when I simply told you that it was gone, as if there was no way to even share information with you that didn't set you off like some sort of evil paranoid plumber >:o !

Let's also be clear, every time in your statement you said 'I might be wrong', you were indeed wrong. The proof is plain in hindsight and you now know how far you were from grasping the lay of the land on several fronts. Additionally, our last missive was me trying to talk you down and then you scuttled off and didn't respond to me for days after. You failed to have the cojones to dare whisper in my direction until you felt yourself needing aid even then you couldn't muster anything approaching a worthwhile connection. Back to the early, greener days, your assertion that you came up with several plans is missing key details about how you were prodded into those actions and acted as would a puppet, but that I suppose tells to the web you failed to perceive being woven. Come merge, you then  presumed that a plan in one place in one context would continue elsewhere based on nothing but hoping others weren't playing their own games, a grave miscalculation that you responded to with your, by then, custom vitriol. As it appeared, by the end you clung to the only thing you could hope to control, a foolish dinosaur bound to an egg-strategy that fell into your lap like an omellete from heaven. By the end I'll bet that your only saving grace was that almost everyone wanted to drag you along because you were unworthy of the win, and it'll take a helluva last gasp for you to sway this demon.

But your most telling feature was the methods with which you spoke to me and spoke to others. All strategising I can forgive, but your manner... Barring you ripping off a mask and revealing yourself to be Waluigi, the far superior 'Wa' exponent, you'll have to work almost as hard as Yoshi to find my vote headed your way.

In summary, anyone ever tell you you look like my father?



Captain Falcon , aside from you sometimes being swept up in the egg-speriment, I see fewer faults with your game. If Falco had bested Wario I'd have more difficulty deciding but as it is now partway through this finale, I hold only small hesitation that you must overcome. You wended yourself through the debris of early setbacks and yet retained an active game by my red eye. Sometimes frazzled, you kept yourself situated in a position away from the firing line for the most part. Your big move didn't even involve the reliance upon egg-idiocy when you initiated the final strike upon Squirtle at the exact moment when it mattered most, and that counts for much with me. You took information  and utilized it to gain a near-free Smashball and salvaged favour out of it, then used furthermore information (from an unnamed but proven reliable demonic source) to extrapolate which player had another one and made a game-winning play right then and there when no one else had the ability or foresight to do so. You survived rocks on blue and ended up the only player who was both in true peril early and made it to the ultimate end. You are the only remaining player who was actively fun to converse with without reservation, and I say all this even as our alignments for votes and outcomes were in sync only a lesser portion of the time during the contest and that a decision you made ultimately cost me my own game. So even though you both sent me into the ring and ultimately ousted me just shy of my own goals, I can appreciate the move. 

Therefore, to any who bother to read this far, Either make your final case directed at me if you think you can, or test yourself upon my question. That being: How do you value your what you contribute to at what your to at which do you most can't the least? Bonus points to those who attempt both at once >;)

[Wario]

Kazuya I'm not even going to bother reading yours. You made it clear with your multiple angry long messages once you were sent in at 5 how you felt and how you'd work as hard as possible to turn people's opinions of me, if they even needed turning. You flat out told me you're not voting for me so I see any sort of interaction with you as a waste of time and energy

[Captain Falcon]

Thanks Kaz… appreciate ya nice words here. It's nice to hear. I was definitely a bit of a frazzled maniac at times, and ain't gonna hide from aspect of how I played. I'll embrace it! It's high adrenaline out on the TRACK- that translated into my game play a bit too. I'm hoping my positive qualities shine through brighter at the end of the day, and I'm glad you see some of 'em! As for your question...

How do you value your what you contribute to at what your to at which do you most can't the least?

Yes... Interesting question, I would say that-



Sorry, needed a fade to black moment to really think about my answer there. And I made these damn gifs, may as well make use of 'em. But I think I've got an answer that'll satisfy ya while also getting my case across. So here goes.

When we first met, I was the wolf, you were a lone digger. I was the deepest BLUE, and you were green. I wasn’t certain we could make aquamarine. But then I gave you a nightcall, and we took the money train down to moonbeam city. That’s when I realised- DAMN! Kaz, you float my boat. I’ll ride with you west side, down on melancholy hill until we can touch the sky. Two wild horses, bound for the starlight brigade. The world ii was our oyster, and it was too late to turn back now. For a long while there, things were happy in the garden of eden- ’til I bit the eple. When the game started to accelerate, so did the crushcrushcrush of the airglow fires. I couldn't keep us both from getting burned- and I can't help but live to win. So maybe THE CAPTAIN ain’t a real hero. Maybe it’s just new person, same old mistakes. But even though we couldn't find ourselves ridin' together... at least we round resonance.

Hope that makes some sense to ya, Kaz, and answers your question- anything else ya need, let me know. 

[Yoshi]

Kazuya

Yoshi accepts all the statements you make. While Yoshi doesn't agree with all of them, Yoshi can see why you would feel that way and Yoshi isn't going to try and change your vote. As always, Yoshi thanks you for being honest and honesty really does mean a lot to Yoshi regardless of whether it is positive or negative. Yoshi does appreciate everything you say here and will try to use it for the future.