Final Destination

[Masahiro Sakurai]

Squirtle King Dedede Robin Dark Pit King K. Rool Pyra & Mythra Marth Piranha Plant

So Final Destination is approaching, get hype! How it will work is:

- Each finalist will post an opening statement

- You will each have an opportunity to ask a question, or make a statement in your own dedicated thread

- At the end of the window, each finalist will post a closing statement

- After this, you'll have a window to change your vote before it becomes final

I've given the potential finalists a couple of options to decide between for timeslots, so Final Destination will either occur over the weekend or from Sunday-Monday. If you're unable to make these dates, I'm happy to post your question or statement on your behalf. Simply make a thread in your confessional, and I'll use it if you're not around. Feel free to discuss your questions here if you want to avoid repetition. I'll confirm an exact time tomorrow. Let me know if you have any questions!

[Falco]

So ehh, anyone know what they are generally asking about so we don't double up?

[Piranha Plant]

Basically just how well they feel they have embraced the format.

[Robin]

I think I will need to see their statements first to get an idea of what kind of argument they are making. I expect any small areas of uncertainty that I have will likely be covered there, especially if they are the types to bombard us with every little detail of their game right out of the gate.

[Masahiro Sakurai]

Squirtle King Dedede Robin Dark Pit King K. Rool Pyra & Mythra Marth Piranha Plant

Sorry for the extra tag, but I'll give some extra info here! For your final votes, feel free to leave a comment along with them, which I will use for the reveal.

As outlined in the rules, in case of a 4-4-2 tie, I'll hold a revote with the 2 third-place voters before going to a tiebreaker vote. With this in mind, you may rank the finalists in your final vote. Otherwise, I will use your last list.

[Robin]

Never mind what I said about waiting for their statements first. I am not reading any of that shit.

[Robin]

Okay so apparently I hate myself because I am slowly slugging through these boring arse speeches. On Wario's like third or fourth paragraph about the fucking green team (dude, literally nobody cares that you made a group chat with Link to make him feel comfortable or whatever) and it has actually been lowkey worth it for gems like this:

Mar 11, 2022 18:05:41 GMT 10 Wario said:

I believe it was Dark Pit in the stands at this stage and his job was to also spread this narrative if asked.

Dark Pit immediately upon arriving at the stands: So Wario is batshit insane and has this stupid plan and is making up ridiculous stories and has way too many fake alliances and I hate him and my whole tribe. Anyway, you wanna make out?

[Falco]

I am only halfway through Wario's and I'm gonna need some pitstops here.

I don't love how everything happened was part of his plan. Like EVERYTHING.

Wario - "So long as the winner didn't come to Yellow I'd have majority which was the optimal result"
Also Wario - "So K.Rool won and came to Yellow which was the optimal result"

[Robin]

Not everything was part of his plan. Sometimes things were Dark Pit's plan and they also didn't even happen:

Mar 11, 2022 18:05:41 GMT 10 Wario said:

So we coordinated it again, with Marth going in. I believe it was Dark Pit that came up with the idea for Marth to pick a different team at this point, with the shield. Because we knew about the tribe swap rules at that point, and it would mean that we could pick Marth , who could pick us. Which meant three greens in the same tribe right off the bat. For some reason Marth didn't do that, and came back to green. I don't know why he didn't, because it was an excellent plan.

I'm really glad he included this very pertinent piece of information in his speech. I would have been left wanting without it, for sure.

Anyway, I have thankfully finished that one and am thoroughly... Whelmed? Like, not necessarily underwhelmed, but certainly not overwhelmed either. He was basically like, "I played this game and did some stuff sometimes," in way, way more words and without any real overarching argument that I could discern. It's cute that he thinks I will vote for him, according to his answers to KKR and His Highness, though.

Now I shall move onto whatever nonsense Yoshi managed to shit out.

[Falco]

Well I'm through Yoshi's too and it's similar to Wario's with a lot of 'this is what happened', we know what happened already. He has a little more 'this is why it happened'. I think at this point my question is going to be about Yoshi's eggs, because it was a huge factor and even Yoshi hasn't dwelled on it too much.

I see Falcon has wisely included some images to break it all up.

[Squirtle]

Squirtleself atwhen squirtlesee isbe allthree finaldestinationsmashers squirtlesuppose expecteget squirtlevote falcoexfriendvote:



Squrirtlesnowball isbe factof squirlteserious noknow whobe getvote.

[Robin]

Yeah. Yoshi's was indeed much of the same. He didn't really say a lot that wasn't already apparent. I was expecting/hoping for more insight into how exactly he influenced the game outside of his votes, as well as a stronger overall argument, rather than... This:

Mar 11, 2022 2:25:45 GMT 10 Yoshi said:

At the start of the game, Yoshi suspects many of you would've thought that there is no way Yoshi could've made it here following the conditions they gave, and Yoshi hopes that the fact they did is enough reason to convince you to vote for Yoshi.

He is right that he had an uphill battle given the way he chose to play the game, and I do think it is impressive that he made it to the end despite that, but it isn't in and of itself a reason to vote for him to win.

Okay, moving on. Don't let me down now, Captain...

[Falco]

Cap's is the best of the three by far. Still missing some key bits despite the walls of text, but the varying fonts & pics & in-character stuff at least make it interesting to read. Digging that old F-zero music too.

Not a one of these have mentioned the other two's games at all. I need some - here's why they were shit, along with all the I am great

[Falco]

Mar 11, 2022 20:52:18 GMT 10 Squirtle said:

Squirtleself atwhen squirtlesee isbe allthree finaldestinationsmashers squirtlesuppose expecteget squirtlevote falcoexfriendvote:

You'd have thought I was voting for you too

[Robin]

All three of their jury reads are kinda bad lol. Not one of them had me down for Captain Falcon even though I have been his biggest advocate here and even said to all of their faces in the game that I thought he was the biggest threat to win

And, agreed, the Captain's speech was by far the best. For starters, he actually formed a compelling argument that wasn't just a chronological list of everything that ever happened. He explained why he played the way that he did and not just that he did. I can totally see the evidence of his logic in the actions that he took. I liked how he drew attention to how he recovered and responded to the rock draw right at the beginning of the game. And I especially appreciated how he referred to his socialwhoring and desperation to avoid the arena. It came across as kinda sleazy to me in the game but it makes sense that he didn't back himself in a challenge and was trying to avoid duelling as much as possible. A strategy that clearly worked for him. His explanation for betraying Squirtle made sense to me too? It was cruel, sure, but also reasonable. Bonus points for including his own personality and flavour so that he wasn't just hitting us with a wall of dry text.

Not sure I really have anything to ask them after that tbh but ig I'll think of something.